"Stop Wasting Your Time Complaining"
Post on: July 12, 2019
There was once a wise man who solved the disputes amongst the villagers. He was judicious and people looked up to him for being fair and just.
Besides seeking advice, some would go to him and complain about the state of affairs. They did it painstakingly over and over again. One day, the wise man decided to make them understand the consequences of their gripes. So, he told them a joke. They roared with laughter.
Soon after, he narrated the same joke to them. This time the response was subdued; his joke only evoked a snicker. He then repeated the same joke the third time. However, they did not even smile.
The wise man remarked to the people, “All of you did not laugh over the hilarious joke on my third attempt simply because one can’t laugh over and over again on the same joke. Then why are you complaining about the same problems over and over?”
It is normal to complain about our grievances – we just need someone to talk to and empathise with us. But if it becomes perpetual, we fall into the trap of being a chronic complainer like in the story.
We all can identify with such a person. I had an ex-colleague who did it with ease as complaining had become second nature to him and permeated every facet of his life. He would start from the time he woke up, complaining that he did not sleep well because of the cries of the neighbour’s baby. He then would complain that the car ahead of him was crawling at a snail’s pace, thus causing him to be late.
At work, he would complain that his colleagues were not as competent as him and wasting time with their endless brainstorming sessions. This would be followed by the manager’s untenable marketing strategies and that he should have been consulted instead. During lunchtime, the crowd was targeted for being so noisy and uncivilised, sometimes even depriving him of a seat!
At teatime, the stall owner will end up getting the ire of his rants – for serving tea which tastes like longkang (drain) water! It goes on…. Every time we spoke to him, it was filled with pessimism — it was draining just being in his midst.
5 Ways to break the habit of complaining:
1. Conquer the habit of complaining – One of the ways to conquer the habit of complaining is to count your blessings. Be mindful of the things you are grateful for – write a list in a journal no matter how trivial it may be on a daily basis. Soon our complaining would be negated by the positive vibes of our blessings.
2. Do not be influenced by the complainers — There are times when friends complain about unwarranted things; it is common to fall into their trap and jump on the bandwagon. We do it even if we feel it is unjustifiable but only to fit into the “cool” clique. Be the change you want to see in the world! Rebuke them or simply be silent as everyone is entitled to his own views on a subject.
3. Change your perspective – Our human mind tends to gravitate towards the negative. We tend to complain that the rose bush is full of thorns. Why not change our views? Appreciate mother nature — rejoice the fact that the roses beautify the thorny bush so effortlessly and make one’s day!
4. Be less judgemental –– For example, at a supermarket, we witness a 5-year-old boy throwing a tantrum and kicking his mother while screaming at the top of his lungs. We tend to judge the mother and complain about her poor upbringing of the child, without realising that there may be more to it than meets the eye. The boy could be a child with “special needs” and having a meltdown — the mom could be trying her best to control the situation.
5. Adapt to changes – In life, nothing stays the same. Change is inevitable – the new workplace warrants that one has to be apt in e-commerce and technological advances. Those who started their working career with typewriters and shorthand have to realise that we have to be abreast with the changes to be relevant today. Instead of complaining that life was so much simpler in the good old days, be practical and learn a new skill. Take it as a challenge than whining – the buzzword is adaptability.
Let’s make a concerted effort to stop being a complainer. It’s impossible to wake up one morning and completely eradicate it. However, by being mindful of what we say, we can slowly mend our habit of complaining and live a fulfilling life. “Spending today complaining about yesterday, won’t make tomorrow any better.” Instead of complaining – Make this Day Great!
By Shaji Thomas Varughese
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