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"Hilarious Quotations"

Post on: November 9, 2018

Everyone loves humour. Like the cardamom which spices my hot piping tea, humour so effortlessly spices up our lives.

Humour has permeated every facet of our lives. Besides great strides made in the entertainment and the commercial realm, humour has proliferated the political arena too. Astute politicians have recognised this – in some societies, perceptive parties espouse that an in-house humourist sits in their political speechwriting team. Such is the recognition bestowed to humour in our everyday life…

Some experts have even postulated that we need not spend a fortune popping pills to relive our pain — laughter is nature’s own pain reliever. Amongst our friends, those who have a sense of humour deal with setbacks more easily…. they roll with adversity’s punches when they come and recover more quickly. I am sure there are such personalities amongst our readers.

The Jolly Good Times has compiled some hilarious quotations to tickle your funny bone —

1. Middle age is when broadness of mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
2. If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
3. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is to eat 30% of their ice cream.
4. What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?
5. My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
6. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
7. Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
8. When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.
9. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
10. Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
11. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
12. Sometimes you meet such a prince that you rather marry the horse.
13. Let’s have a beer together; you can open it and I will drink it.
14. Ultimate lazy moment: watching the sunrise on TV because you’re too lazy to get up and watch it for real.
15. Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my Vodkabulary, but let me check in Whiskypedia.
16. How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost?
17. If a philosopher answers a question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
18. Why do they call it a beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?
19. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
20. Relax, it’s the weekend… just don’t blink or it will be all over.
21. The road to success is always under Construction.
22. Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes, “M” is silent.
23. He who wakes up early yawns all day long.
24. It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go. I will always bend down and pick it up.
25. I enjoy taking long romantic walks to the fridge.

Life presents us with many reasons to laugh – celebrate these occasions with those around us. Laughter does not cost you anything but it takes you to a higher plane as you view the world on a jubilant note… the feeling is exhilarating.

#JollyGoodTimes #HilariousQuotations #ShajiThomasVarughese

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